The man whispered, "God, speak to me"

and a meadowlark sang.

But, the man did not hear.

So the man yelled, "God, speak to me"

and the thunder rolled across the sky.

But, the man did not listen.

The man looked around and said, "God let me see you."

And a star shined brightly.

But the man did not see.

And, the man shouted, "God show me a miracle."

And, a life was born.

But, the man did not notice.

So, the man cried out in despair, "Touch me God, and let me know you are here."

Whereupon, God reached down and touched the man

But, the man brushed the butterfly away... and walked on

I found this to be a great reminder that God is always around us in the little and simple things that we take for granted ... even in our electronic age... so I would like to add one more:

The man cried, "God, I need your help!"

And an e-mail arrived reaching out with good news and encouragement.

But, the man deleted it and continued crying ...

Don't miss out on a blessing because it isn't packaged the way that you expect.

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you.
All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.

I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes.

I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.

I've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes.
After that, you'd better have a big weenie or huge boobs.

I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more screwed up than you think.

I've learned that you can keep puking long after you think you're finished.

I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.

I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first,
the passion fades, and there had better be a lot of money to take its place.

I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon
and all the less important ones just never go away.

A Pinoy went to a bar in Hawaii to have some drinks. At the counter, he sat next to the famous Hollywood director, Steven Spielberg who was already ahead by a quart of alcohol. After a couple of beers, the Pinoy sensed that Spielberg was glaring at him. Suddenly, in a flash the Pinoy crashed down from his stool, felled by a vicious hook from the director.

Picking himself up, he yelled, "Wat da hell is dat por?"

Spielberg ranted: "That's for the bombing of Pearl Harbor, you #@@!!##! My dad perished in that bombing!"

"Tang Na! I am not Jafanese, you stufid Nincomfoof! I am Pilifino!" exclaimed the Pinoy.

The inebriated director replied, "Yeah yeah yeah ....Japanese, Burmese,Chinese, Vietnamese, Filipino ...you are all the same."

Regaining his composure, the Pinoy dusted off his white pants, straightened the collar of his loud bird-of-paradise printed shirt, took his seat and ordered a double R&B from the bartender. After a few sips, the Pinoy stood up and delivered his best Jackie Chan karate kick, sending the director flying halfway across the room.

"What was that for?!!" shouted the surprised Spielberg from about fifteen feet away.

"Dat's por da sinking of da TITANIC! I had my grandpader on dat shif!" the Pinoy answered back.

"You ignorant Chink! The TITANIC was sunk by an iceberg!" exclaimed the director.

"Yah yah yah...Iceberg, Sfielberg, Carlsberg... you are all the same."

You have this friend since elementary and after college the both of you lose contact with each other. But she is someone really special to you, and you're someone very special to her too.

Five years later you receive a phone call from her.

"Hi, I'll visit you" she says.

"Hi, Leah, when?" you ask her.

"Just wait for me" she replies.

It seems weird but you prepare for her coming anyway.

One rainy night you hear a knock on the door. And you're surprised to see that it's your friend Leah. Losing touch for five years is so long and you start talking about everything. The both of you even go to your room upstairs. Suddenly there is a power outage, but the two of you continue talking by candle light.

Then the phone rings.

"I'll just get the phone downstairs," you say.

"No, don't get it, we're in the middle of our talk," she says.

"It might be important," you say.

"Okay if you say so, but promise me you'll be back," she says.

You promise her a million times that you'll be back. Then you run downstairs to answer the phone.

"Hello," you say.

"Hello," says the person on the line.

"Yeah?" you say, wondering who it is.

"I'm calling on behalf of Leah's family. They had an accident and her parents are in the hospital right now," he says.

"How are they?" you ask.

He continues, "They are injured but stable. But I'm sorry to say that Leah died. We found your name and phone number in Leah's purse..."

His voice trails off as you look up at the long stairs.

WOULD YOU GO BACK AS YOU PROMISED?

How to keep a healthy level of insanity:



1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in".

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

6. In the memo field of your cheque book write "for sexual favors".....

7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy."

8. Dont use any punctuation marks.

9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

10. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.

11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".

12. Sing along at the opera.

13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

14. Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.

15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

16. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard Kim.

17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won!", "I won!" "3rd time this week!!!!!"

18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "run for your lives, they're loose!!"

19. Tell your children over dinner. "due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."

Ever wonder

...why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

...why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

...why you don't ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

...why "abbreviated" is such a long word?

...why doctors call what they do "practice"?

...why you have to click on "Start" to stop Windows 98?

...why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor, while dish washing liquid is made with real lemons?

...why the man who invests all your money is called a broker?

...why there isn't mouse-flavored cat food?

...who tastes dog food when it has a "new & improved" flavor?

...why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes?

...why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

...why they don't make the whole plane out of the material used for the indestructible black box?

...why sheep don't shrink when it rains?

...why they are called apart-ments when they are all stuck together?

...if con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

...why they call the airport "the terminal" if flying is so safe?

In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (and that's the only time I have to work on my hair)

On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. details inside. (the shoplifter's special?)

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how???....)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down."(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought????...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and...I'm taking this because???....)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (nuff said)

A farmer had some puppies he needed to sell. He painted a sign advertising the 20 pups and set about nailing it to a post on the edge of his yard.

As he was driving the last nail into the post, he felt a tug on his overalls. He looked down into the eyes of a little boy.

"Mister," he said, "I want to buy one of your puppies."

"Well," said the farmer, as he rubbed the sweat of the back of his neck, "These puppies come from fine parents and cost a good deal of money."

The boy dropped his head for a moment. Then reaching deep into his pocket, he pulled out a handful of change and held it up to the farmer.

"I've got thirty-nine cents. Is that enough to take a look?"

"Sure," said the farmer. And with that he let out a whistle "Here, Dolly!" he called. Out from the doghouse and down the ramp ran Dolly followed by four little balls of fur.

The little boy pressed his face against the chain link fence. His eyes danced with delight. As the dogs made their way to the fence, the little boy noticed something else stirring inside the doghouse.

Slowly another little ball appeared, this one noticeably smaller. Down the ramp it slid. Then in a somewhat awkward manner, the little pup began hobbling toward the others, doing its best to catch up....

"I want that one," the little boy said, pointing to the runt.

The farmer knelt down at the boy's side and said, "Son, you don't want that puppy. He will never be able to run and play with you like these other dogs would."

With that the little boy stepped back from the fence, reached down, and began rolling up one leg of his trousers.

In doing so he revealed a steel brace running down both sides of his leg attaching itself to a specially made shoe. Looking back up at the farmer, he said, "You see sir, I don't run too well myself, and he will need someone who understands."

A first-grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, "Harry, what is your problem?"

Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!"

The teacher had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office.

While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told the teacher he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave.

The teacher agreed.

Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"

Harry: "9"

Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"

Harry: "36"

And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know. The principal looks at the teacher and tells her, "I think Harry can go to the third-grade."

The teacher says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions."

The principal and Harry both agree.

Teacher: "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?

Harry: "Legs!"

Teacher: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"

(The principal wondered, why does she ask such questions!)

Harry: "Pockets"

Teacher: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"

Harry: "Pants"

Teacher: "What's starts with a C and ends with a T, its hairy, oval,delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?"

(The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer...)

Harry: "Coconut"

Teacher: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"

Harry: "Bubblegum"

Teacher: "What do men do standing up, woman do sitting down and dogs do on three legs?"

(The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer...)

Harry: "Shake hands"

Teacher: "Now I will ask some 'Who am I' sort of questions, okay?"

Harry: "Yup"

Teacher: "You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do."

Harry: "Tent"

Teacher: "A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first."

(Principal was looking restless and bit tense)

Harry: "Wedding Ring"

Teacher: "I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good."

Harry: "Nose"

Teacher: "I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver."

Harry: "Arrow"

Teacher: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in K' that means a lot of excitement?"

Harry: "Firetruck!"

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put his little maggot's ass in the fifth-grade, I got the last ten fuckin' questions wrong myself!"

Joe was a successful lawyer but he was increasingly hampered by incredible headaches.

When his career and love life started to suffer, he sought medical help.

After being referred from one specialist to another, he finally came across an old country doctor who solved the problem.

"The good news is that I can cure your headaches ... The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press up against the base of your spine, and the pressure creates a terrible headache. The only way to relieve the condition is to remove your testicles."

Joe was shocked and depressed.

He wondered whether he had anything to live for.

He couldn't even concentrate long enough to answer his own question, but decided he had no choice but to go under the knife.

When he left the hospital after the surgery he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he also felt like he was missing an important part of himself.

As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life. He saw a men's clothing store and thought: "That's what I need .... a new suit."

He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit," and picked one out.

The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see... size 44 long."

Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know?"

"Been in the business 60 years."

Joe tried on the suit and it fit him perfectly. As Joe admired himself, the salesman said, "How about a new shirt?"

Joe thought for a moment then said, "Sure."

The salesman eyed Joe, and said, "34 sleeve and a 16 1/2 neck."

Joe was surprised, "That's right, how did you know?

"Been in the business 60 years."

Joe tried on the shirt, and it fit perfectly. As Joe adjusted the collar in the mirror, the salesman said, "How about new shoes?"


Joe was on a roll and said, "Sure."

The salesman eyed Joe's feet, and said, "Let's see 9 1/2 E."

Joe was astonished, "How did you know?"

"Been in the business 60 years."

Joe tried on the shoes and they fit perfectly. Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman said, "How about some new underwear?"

Joe thought for a second, and said, "Sure."

The salesman stepped back, eyed Joe's waist and said, "Let's see ..... size 36."

Joe laughed, "Ah ha. I got you! I've worn size 34 since I was 18 years old.

The salesman shook his head, "You can't wear size 34. A 34 underwear would press your testicles up against your spine and give you a hell of a headache.

One day, you get lost in the wilderness while travelling. It gets dark and you have no choice but to seek refuge in a small hut nearby. The owner tells you all his rooms are haunted. Which room will you choose?

The room where:

A) a human head stares at you maliciously from outside your window

B) the bathroom door creaks open and close, and there are sounds of a woman sighing

C) the bed starts rocking violently whenever you try to sleep on it

D) a headless ghost sits at the foot of your bed when you awake in the middle of the night


Scroll down for explanation.

















































A) a human head stares at you maliciously from outside your window

Explanation:

You need a lot of private space and are more suitable to work alone. You look for stability i.e. a job that is not easily affected by external factors and provides steady income. E.g. Doctor, lawyer, SOHO, teacher, administrator.






B) the bathroom door creaks open and close, and there are sounds of a woman sighing

Explanation:

You prefer a stable job that does not require you to run around or meet people. You are willing to be subjected to pressure from your bosses if that lets you sit in an air-conditioned office all day. E.g. Civil servant, Engineer, Computer Engineer, Accountant.






C) the bed starts rocking violently whenever you try to sleep on it

Explanation:

You are an active person who cannot sit still and does not like to be restrained. You are easily adaptable to a job which is full of changes and not routine. E.g. Marketing, insurance, sales, deliveryman, chauffer.






D) a headless ghost sits at the foot of your bed when you awake in the middle of the night

Explanation:

You suit jobs that need you to meet people, especially large crowds. Your job will depend on these people, but you will not know who they are E.g. superstar, politician,! PR, counter/frontline sales.

The Proxy Father


The Smiths had no children and decided to use a proxy father to start their family.

On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said, “I’m off. The man should be here soon.”

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. “Good morning, madam. You don’t know me but I’ve come to …”

“Oh, no need to explain. I’ve been expecting you,” Mrs. Smith cut in.

“Really?” the photographer asked. “Well, good! I’ve made a specialty of babies.”

“That’s what my husband and I hoped. Please come in and have a seat. Just where do we start?” asked Mrs. Smith, blushing.

“Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is fun too; you can really spread out.”

“Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn’t work for Harry and me.”

“Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I’m sure you’ll be pleased with the results.”

“I hope we can get this over with quickly,” gasped Mrs. Smith.

“Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I’d love to be in and out in five minutes, but you’d be disappointed with that, I’m sure.”

“Don’t I know!” Mrs. Smith exclaimed. The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. “This was done on top of a bus in downtown London.”

“Oh my god!!”, Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief.

“And these twins turned out exceptionally well when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with.” The photographer handed Mrs. Smith the picture.

“She was difficult?” asked Mrs. Smith.

“Yes, I’m afraid so. I finally had to take her to Hyde Park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get a good look.”

“Four and five deep?” asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened in amazement.

“Yes,” the photographer said. “And for more than three hours too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling. I could hardly concentrate. Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in.”

Mrs. Smith leaned forward.

“You mean they actually chewed on your…… eh…… equipment?”

“That’s right. Well madam, if you’re ready, I’ll set up my tripod so that we can get to work.”

“Tripod??” Mrs. Smith looked extremely worried now.

“Oh yes. I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It’s much too big for me to hold while I’m getting ready for action. Madam? Madam? … … Good Lord, she’s fainted!!”

B.A.R.S.

The World Health Organisation (WHO) has just issued an urgent warning about BARS (Beer & Alcohol Requirement Syndrome). A newly identified problem has spread rapidly throughout the world. The disease, identified as BARS (Beer & Alcohol Requirement Syndrome) affectspeople of many different ages. Believed to have started in Ireland in 1500 BC, the disease seems to affect people who congregate in Pubs and Taverns or who just congregate.

It is not known how the disease is transmitted but approximately three billion people world-wide are affected, with thousands of new cases appearing everyday. Early symptoms of the disease include an uncontrollable urge at 5:00pm to consume a beer or alcoholic beverage. This urge is most keenly felt on Fridays. More advanced symptoms of the disease include talking loudly, singing off-key, aggression, heightened sexual attraction/confidence (even towards fuglies), uncalled for laughter, uncontrollable dancing and unprovoked arguing. In the final stages of the disease, victims are often cross-eyed, and speak incoherently.

Vomiting, loss of memory, loss of balance, loss of clothing and loss of virginity can also occur. Sometimes death ensues, usually accompanied by the victim shouting, "Hey Fred, bet you can't do this!" or "Wanna see how fast it goes??" If you develop any of these symptoms, it is important that you quarantine yourself in a pub with fellow victims until last call or all the symptoms have passed.

Sadly, it is reported that the disease can reappear at very short notice or at the latest, on the following Friday. Side effects for survivors include bruising, broken limbs, lost property, killer headaches and divorce.

On the up side, there is not, and probably never will be, a permanent cure.

Facts of the 1500's

The next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water temperature isn't just how you like it, think about how things used to be

Here are some facts about the 1500s:

Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath n May and still smelled pretty good by June. However, they were starting to smell so brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odour.

Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.

* * * * *

Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children-last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Hence the saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the bath water."

* * * * *

Houses had thatched roofs - thick straw-piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the dogs, cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof.

Hence the saying "It's raining cats and dogs."

* * * * *

There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could really mess up your nice clean bed.

Hence, a bed with big posts and sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That's how canopy beds came into existence.

**********
The floor was dirty. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt.

Hence the saying "dirt poor."

* * * * *

The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on the floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they kept adding more thresh until when you opened the door it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entranceway.

Hence the saying a "thresh hold."

* * * * *

Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man "could bring home the bacon." They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and "chew the fat."

* * * * *

Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead poisoning and death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.

* * * * *

Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or "upper crust."

* * * * *
Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky. The combination would sometimes knock them out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up.

Hence the custom of holding a "wake."

* * * * *

England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a "bone-house" and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive. So they thought they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a
bell.

Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the"graveyard shift") to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be "saved by the bell" or was considered a "dead ringer."

John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife!"

That won him the top prize for the best toast of the night!

He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the best toast of the night!"

She said, "Aye, what was your toast?"

John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife."

"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.

The next day, Mary ran into one of John's toasting buddies on the street corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other night, with a toast about you, Mary."

She said, "Aye, and I was a bit surprised me self! You know, he's only been there twice ... once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come."

There was an Asian lady married to an English gentleman and they lived in London. The poor lady was not very proficient in English, but managed to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries.

One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy pork legs. She didn't know how to put forward her request, and in desperation,she lifted up her skirt to show her thighs. The butcher got the message and the lady went home with pork legs. The next day, she needed to get chicken breasts. Again, she didn't know how to say, and so she unbuttoned her blouse to show the butcher what she wanted. The lady got what she wanted. The third day, the poor lady needed to buy some bananas. So she brought her husband to the store.............. what did she do?


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>HellOOOOOOOOOOOO..... What were you thinking?? Huh!



Her husband speaks English.... Now get back to work!!.............

A young, good-looking representative from Laguna sponsored a bill recommending Filipino language be used in all levels
of accounting firms and banking institutions. The solon claimed it will provide a better understanding of the business transactions for those who are inexperienced and non-English speaking citizens.

The bill received unanimous approval from the House and was presented to the President for signature to become the law of the land. But in spite of the overwhelming pressure from the members of the Congress, President Gloria Arroyo vetoed the bill.

Why?

She found out that when the English "business" words are translated in Tagalog, they sound very malicious and are "nakaka-hiya at nakaka-kilabot!"

Here are a few sample words - English to Tagalog

Asset - Ari
Fixed asset - Nakatirik na ari
Liquid asset - Basang ari
Solid asset - Matigas na ari
Owned asset - Sariling pag aari
Other asset - Ari ng iba
Miscellaneous asset - Iba-ibang klaseng ari
Asset write off - Pinutol na pagaari
Depreciation of asset - Laspag na pagaari
Fully depreciated asset - Laspag na laspag na pagaari
Earning asset - Tumutubong pagaari
Working asset - Ganado pa ang ari
Non-earning asset - Baldado na ang ari
Erroneous entry - Mali ang pagka pasok
Double entry - Dalawang beses ipinasok
Mutiple entry - Labas pasok nang labas pasok
Correcting entry - Itinama ang pagpasok
Reversing entry - Baligtad ang pagkakapasok
Dead asset - Patay na ang ARI

That night, Sue had a quarrel with her mum and without bringing anything with her, she ran out of the house. While she's walking on the street, she discovered that she doesn't have any money on her, not even a cent to make a phone call.

As she was walking along the street, she spots a noodle stall, it smells so nice, how she longed for a bowl. But, she has no money.

After awhile, the boss seeing Sue standing in front of his stall for quite a long time, asked: 'Hey Miss, do you want a bowl of noodle?'

'But...but...I didn't bring any money with me...' she answered shyly.

'It's alright, I'll give you a treat.' The boss said, 'Come have a seat, I'll cook you a bowl of noodle.'

Not long after, the owner served Sue with a bowl of noodle and a plate of vegetables. Sue ate a few mouthfuls and she starts to tear. 'What happened, Miss?' the owner asked.

'Nothing, I'm just touched!' Sue said while drying her tears.

'Even a stranger I met on the street would offer to cook a bowl of noodle and give me a treat! But...my own mother, after a quarrel chase me out of the house and asking me not to go back again. You as a complete stranger could show me care and concern while my own mother...she's so cruel.' She said to the owner.

The boss after hearing what Sue had said, replied with a sigh: 'Miss, how can you think that way? Ponder over this, I just cook a bowl of noodle for you and you are so touch. Your mother had been cooking noodles and rice for you since you are young till now, why aren't you grateful to her? And you even quarrel with her?'

Sue was stunned upon hearing that.

'Why didn't I think of that? A bowl of noodle from a stranger and I'm so grateful but yet my own mother had been cooking for me for so many years and I did not even show the least concern about her.'.....

And because of a trivial matter, I quarreled with her. She finishes her noodle swiftly and braces herself up and marched towards the direction of home.

As she's walking home, she thought to herself how she wants to tell her mum right now...'Mum, I'm sorry, I know I'm at fault, please forgive me.'

Once she reached the doorstep, she saw her tired and anxious mother, searching everywhere for... her; when she spot Sue, the first sentence which came out of her mouth is: 'Sue, come into the house quickly, I've the dinner ready and it'll be cold if you are not eating it now.'

Right at that moment, Sue was unable to hold her tears anymore and she started weeping in front of her mum.

At times, we may be very grateful to other people around us for little gesture they showed us, but to our close ones, especially our parents, it's a lifetime of gratefulness we have to remember.

Absolutely Right - We should never forget what our parent had done for us but often we treat that as a natural process for them to sacrifice for us.

However, parent's love and care are the most valuable gift given to us since we were born.

They don't expect any repayment from us for raising us but think about it...

Did we treasure this unconditional sacrifice from our parents?