the junkyard it's rubbish, it's clutter... but i just can't throw them to oblivion
Friday, July 16, 2004
MARRIAGE (PART 1)
A typical macho man married a typical good-looking lady and, after the wedding, laid down the following rules:
"I'll be home when I want, if I want, and at what time I want, and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you otherwise. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?"
His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there'll be sex here at seven o'clock every night, whether you're here or not."
MARRIAGE (PART II)
A husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary. The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, 'Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever.'"
"Yeah?!" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, 'Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last.'"
MARRIAGE (PART III)
A doctor and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table. The husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed either." and storms out of the house. After sometime he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends and rings her up. She comes to the phone after many rings and the irritated husband says, "What took you so long to answer the phone?"
She says, "I was in bed."
"What are you doing in bed at this hour?"
"Getting a second opinion!"
MARRIAGE (PART IV)
A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife, "Mother of Six" in spite of her objections. One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home, Mother of six?"
His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion shoutsright back, "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four!"
MARRIAGE (PART V)
A 75-year-old woman went to the doctor for a check up. The doctor told her she needed more cardiovascular activity, and recommended that she engage in sexual activity three times a week. A bit embarrassed, she said to the doctor, "Please tell my husband."
The doctor went out into the waiting room and told the husband that his wife needed sex three times a week. The 80-year-old husband replied, "Which days?"
The doctor answered, "Monday, Wednesday, and Friday would be ideal.
The husband said, "I can bring her on Monday and Wednesday, but on Fridays, she'll have to take the bus."
mga bagay-bagay na kasalukuyang kinaiinisan...
george w bush's smirk, mga pangalan na nilalagyan ng "h" (katulad ng jhune, dhanny, jhoey, jhim, jhay, jhet, mayron pa nga akong kilalang piph), tunog ng baril ni agent X44 Tony Falcon, tunog ng suntok ng mga pelikulang pinoy, people who say "at the end of the day" all the time, allergic reactions to seafood, tunog ng stirofoam pag pinisil, tunog ng kinaskas na kuko sa blackboard, war, alikabok, the term "weapons of mass destruction", sales people who always say "absolutely", people who don't take a bath everyday, anghit, people who don't change their shirts everyday, tropical heat, people with anghit who don't take a bath and don't change their shirts everyday at kasabay mong maglakad in the tropical heat, cnn's jim clancey's reporting, monday afternoons, NAIA, the term "liberating the iraqi people", jeepney fumes, standing on a bus going home, cruise missles, pelikulang bumbay, stale coffee, tomahawk missles, january 2, ping lacson, tessie aquino ureta, pimples, powdered orange juice, elevator music, kenny-g's music, elevator playing kenny-g's music, donald rumsfeld's squint, funeral parlors, hospitals, hospital morgues, cold showers, nagtataeng ballpen, nagtataeng ballpen na nakalagay sa bulsa ng puting polo shirt, lapis na bale, disco music, rap music, loud bar music, loud rap music played in a bar, non-functioning remote control, scientific calculators that are not casio, automatic watches that stop in the middle of the night, smelly farts that are not mine, come to think of it - any kind of fart that did not come from my asshole, "bawal umihi dito" signs (ang mahole, bogbog), sunglasses na tabingi pag sinuot mo, yellow-orange shirts, pink pants for men, pantalon na bitin, lalaki na naka yellow-orange shirt na may ternong pink pants na bitin, lawlaw na shorts, tsinelas na luma, loud preachers inside a bus (PRAISE THE GOD!), el shaddai, amerikana ni brother mike, brother mike, good friday, american war propaganda, train stations in india, being thirsty, LBM, smelly hair, ugly american speeches, tinapay na may amag, mainit na coke, soft boiled egg na sobrang soft, CNN reporters na pumipikit-pikit pag nagrereport, sign pen na walang tinta, CD na tumatalon, abstract painting na binebenta sa bangketa sa quiapo, palenkeng maputik, cell phones ringing inside theatres, sappy love song ring tones, sappy love song ringtones ringing inside theatres, loud text message ringtones, mcdo hamburgers na may chii sauce, taxes, ringing phones at 2 o clock in the morning, traffic jams, fast changing traffic lights, war councils, tapilok, somebody wearing turtle neck sweaters in manila, somebody wearing leather jackets in manila, somebody wearing leather jackets over tutleneck sweaters in manila, the term "decisive force", censorship, self righteous people, self righteous censors, names i can't pronounce, people calling me "david", riding in a car that's been left baking in an open parking lot in manila at 12 o clock noon, pentel pen na malapit nang maubusan ng tinta, the disco song entitled "zodiac", low batt cellphone right when you need it, underpowered cars, stars on 45 music, stars on 45 music being played inside buses, stars on 45 being played inside a bus when a preacher suddenly shouts "PRAISE THE LORD" while you are a few seconds from finally taking a nap, funeral wreathes, lumang pera, kahit anong pelikula ni steven segal (except yung kasama niya si idol kong tommy lee jones), ang mukha ni prime minister john howard ng australia, "operation iraqi freedom"...
...AND, the most kinaiinisang bagay-bagay as of late: the term "shock and awe"
