Although things are not perfect Because of trials or pain Continue in thanksgiving Do not begin to blame Even when the times are hard Fierce winds are bound to blow God is forever able Hold on to what you know Imagine life without His love Joy would cease to be Keep thanking Him for all the things Love imparts to thee Move out of "Camp Complaining" No weapon that is known On earth can yield the power Praise can do alone Quit looking at the future Redeem the time at hand Start every day with worship To "thank" is a command Until we see Him coming Victorious in the sky We'll run the race with gratitude Xalting God most high Yes, there'll be good times & yes some will be bad, but... Zion waits in glory...where no one is ever sad!
"I AM Too blessed to be stressed!" The shortest distance between a problem and a solution is the distance between your knees and the floor. The one who kneels to the Lord can stand up to anything. Love and peace be with you forever, Amen.
One night a guy takes his girlfriend home. As they are about to kiss each other goodnight at the front door, the guy starts feeling a little horny. With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall and smiling, he says to her, "Honey, would you give me a blow job?"
Horrified, she replies, "Are you mad? My parents will see us!"
"Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this hour?"
He asks grinning at her. "No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?"
"Oh come on! There's nobody around, they're all sleeping!"
"No way. It's just too risky!"
"Oh please, please, I love you so much?!?"
"No, no, and no. I love you too, but I just can't!"
"Oh yes you can. Please?"
Out of the blue, the light on the stairs goes on, and the girl's sister shows up in her pajamas, hair disheveled, and in a sleepy voice she says, "Dad says to go ahead and give him a blow job, or I can do it. Or if need be, mom says she can come down herself and do it But for God's sake tell him to take his hand off the intercom!"
A man's daughter had asked the local minister to come and pray with her father. When the minister arrived, he found the man lying in bed with his head propped up on two pillows.
An empty chair sat beside his bed. The minister assumed that the old fellow had been informed of his visit. "I guess you were expecting me, he said."
"No, who are you?" said the father.
The minister told him his name and then remarked, "I saw the empty chair and I figured you knew I was going to show up."
"Oh yeah, the chair," said the bedridden man. "Would you mind closing the door?"
Puzzled, the minister shut the door.
"I have never told anyone this, not even my daughter." said the man. "But all of my life I have never known how to pray. At church I used to hear the pastor talk about prayer, but it went right over my head. I abandoned any attempt at prayer," the old man continued, "until one day four years ago, my best friend said to me, "Johnny, prayer is just a simple matter of having a conversation with Jesus. Here is what I suggest."
"Sit down in a chair; place an empty chair in front of you, and in faith see Jesus on the chair. It's not spooky because he promised, 'I will be with you always.' Then just speak to him in the same way you're doing with me right now."
"So, I tried it and I've liked it so much that I do it a couple of hours every day. I'm careful though. If my daughter saw me talking to an empty chair, she'd either have a nervous breakdown or send me off to the funny farm."
The minister was deeply moved by the story and encouraged the old man to continue on the journey. Then he prayed with him, anointed him with oil, and returned to the church.
Two nights later the daughter called to tell the minister that her daddy had died that afternoon.
"Did he die in peace?" he asked.
"Yes, when I left the house about two o'clock, he called me over to his bedside, told me he loved me and kissed me on the cheek. When I got back from the store an hour later, I found him dead. But there was something strange about his death. Apparently, just before Daddy died, he leaned over and rested his head on the chair beside the bed. What do you make of that?"
The minister wiped a tear from his eye and said, "I wish we could all go like that."
A Filipino parked his brand-new BMW in front of his office building, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he got out, a truck passed too close and completely tore off the door on the driver's side.
The Filipino immediately grabbed his cell phone, dialled the police, and within minutes a policeman pulled up. Before the policeman had a chance to ask any questions, the Filipino started screaming hysterically as some of his office colleagues reached the scene too. His BMW, which he had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter what the body shop did to it.
When the Filipino finally calmed down from his ranting and raving, the policeman shook his head in disgust and disbelief. "I can't believe how materialistic you Filipino people are," he said. "You are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else."
"How can you say such a thing?" asked the Filipino.
The policeman replied, "Don't you know that your left arm is missing from the elbow down? It must have been torn off when the truck hit you."
"Oh My God!" screamed the Filipino. "Where's my Rolex?"
Remove your contact lenses when you are planning to have or attend a BBQ party or whatever that's got to do with flames.
There's this horrible true story about a 21 year old guy in Malacca. He wore a pair of contact lenses during a barbecue party. While he was barbecuing, he stared at the lit charcoals. After a few seconds, he started to scream for help and moved rapidly, jumping up and down. No one in the party knew why.
When he arrived at the Hospital, the doctor said he'll be blind permanently
Contact lenses are made of plastic, and they melt when they come in contact with heat.
Registered nurse si Maria sa States. Kasama nya ang kanyang ina na nagpagamot doon. Namatay ang ina nito. Dahil sa kamahalan ng pamasahe pabalik sa Pilipinas, nagtipid si Maria. Pinauwi na lang niya ang kabaong ng kanyang ina na mag-isa. Pagdating ng kabaong, napansin ng mga kapamilya niya na dikit ang mukha sa salamin ng ataul. Nagkomento tuloy and isang anak, "Ay, naku! Tingnan mo 'yan... hindi sila marunong mag-ayos ng bangkay sa Amerika!"
Upang ayusin ang itsura ng bangkay, binuksan ang kabaong. Aba! May sulat sa dibdib ng ina. Kinuha nila ito at binasa ang nilalaman ng liham na mula kay Maria:
Mahal kong tatay at mga kapatid:
Pasensya na kayo at hindi ko nasamahan ang nanay sa pag-uwi dyan sa Pilipinas dahil napakamahal ng pamasahe. "Ang gastos ko pa lang sa kanya ay mahigit $1,000 na. Ayoko nang isipin pa ang eksaktong halaga.
Anyway, ipinadala ko kasama ni nanay ang mga sumusunod...
Nasa likod ni nanay ang dalawampu't apat na karnenorte. Ang adidas na suot ni nanay ay para kay tatay. Ang limang pares ng de-goma ay nasa loob ng dalawang asul na Jansport na backpack na inuunan ni nanay. Tig-iisa kayo.
Ang iba't-ibang klase ng tsokolate at candy ay nasa puetan ni nanay. Para sa mga bata ito. Bahala na kayong magparte-parte. Sana'y hindi matunaw ang mga ito.
Ang pokemon stuffed toy na yapos-yapos ni nanay ay para sa bunso ni ate. Gift ko sa first birthday ng bata. Ang itim na Esprit bag ay para kay Nene. Ate, nasa loob ng bag ang pictures ni inay, japanese version ng pokemon trading cards at stickers.
Suot ni nanay ang tatlong Ralph Lauren, apat na Gap at dalawang Old Navy t-shirts. Ang isa ay para kay Kuya at tig-iisa ang mga pamangkin ko. Maisusuot ninyo ang mga iyan sa fiesta. Suot din ni inay ang anim na panty hose at tatlong warmer para sa mga dalaga kong pamangkin. Isuot nyo sa party.
May isang dosenang NBA caps sa may paanan ni nanay. Para sa inyo, itay, kuya, dikong, Tiyo Romy. Bigyan nyo na rin ng tig-isa 'yung mga pamangkin ko at 'yong isa ay kay Pareng Tulume. Ang tigdadalawang pares ng Nike wristband at knee caps na suot-suot din ni nanay ay para sa mga anak mo, diko, na nagbabasketball.
Tigdadalawang ream ng Marlboro green at Winston lights ang nasa pagitan ng mga hita ni nanay. Apat na jar ng Skippy Peanut Butter, dalawang dishwashing liquid, isang Kiwi glass cleaner at tig-aanim na Colgate at Aqua Fresh ang nakasiksik sa kilikili ni nanay. Hati-hati na kayo, huwag mag-aagawan.
Isang dosenang Wonder bra na gustong-gusto ni Tiya Iska, suot-suot din ni nanay. Alam kong inaasam-asam nyo 'yan, tiya. Ang Rolex na bilin-bilin mo tatay, suot-suot ni nanay. Kunin mo agad, tatay. Ang hikaw, singsing at kuwintas (na may nakakabit pang anim na nailcutters) na gustong-gusto mo, ditse, ay suot-suot din ni nanay. kunin mo na rin agad, ditse.
Isang Ray Ban ladies sunglass na pabirthday ko kay Ninang Berta,hindi ko ba pinasuot kay nanay. Isiniksik ko na lang sa may bandang ulunan ni nanay. Nasa pink na plastik na maliit. Mga Chanel at Champion na medyas, suot-suot din ni nanay. Tig-iisa kayo, mga pamangkin ko. Mga pampers, panty liners, cotton buds, cotton balls, table napkins at mga scotch brite na may foam ay natatakpan ng mga puting bath towels... yon bale ang pinangkutson ko sa kabaong ni nanay. Marami-rami rin iyon.Parte-parte rin kayo.
Marami pa akong ipinagsisiksik kung saan-saang parte gaya ng cafe, coffee creamer, ilang vienna sausage na de lata, barbie dolls, toothbrush, paper cups, plastic spoon and fork, paper at styro foam plates, perfume, cologne, ballpens, stationeries, envelopes, bar soaps, match box toys, used t-shirts, hand towels, CDs. VHS tapes, padlock, tools gaya ng screw driver, plais, long nose, atbp. Na hindi ko na na-itemize dahil nagmamadali ako.
Marami pa sana akong ipaglalalagay kaya lang, baka mag-excess at si nanay pa ang maiwan. Basta parte-parte kayo, tatay, kuya, ate, dikong, ditse. Para sa inyo lahat ito. Bahala na kayo kay nanay. Pamimisahan ko na lang siya rito. Balitaan ninyo na lang ako pagkatapos ng libing. Paki-double check ang lista kung walang nawala sa mga ipinadala ko.
To find your love attitude number, add your birth month and your birthdate together. Keep reducing it until it's a single digit.
Example: January 28 1+28 = 29 2+9 = 11 1+1 = 2;
Your love attitude number is 2.
If your number is:
You are charming imaginative and independent. Usually your style is ahead of others; you know what's in and what's way out. Sometimes you're a little too aggressive when it comes to pursuing a love interest. You have a way of drawing attention wherever you go, and this dramatic flair usually attracts the strongest guys. Your competitive nature either draws or repels guys/girls... but those who can't handle your power aren't your type anyway. At times you can be possessive, manipulating and demanding with your friends and in love relationships. You like guys/girls with lots of intelligence... and knock-'em-dead good looks don't hurt either.
Your love nature is sentimental, romantic and kind. Your easygoing, mild manner allows almost everyone to feel very comfortable with you - especially shy guys/girls. Your modesty and tact enable you to get along easily with both sexes. You are a natural peacemaker and can be very persuasive with words, which helps you to gain the respect of your classmates. You can also be too sensitive at times, and your greatest drawback is a lack of confidence to stand up for yourself in conflict. Your favorite type of guy is a gentle, affectionate one who is also strong and playful. A great sense of humor is also a must. A guy/girl who loves to listen to music and dance should rank high on your list of favorites, too.
You are imaginative, fun-loving, thrill-seeking and expressive. You're so charming that you attract many friends and you are almost never lacking guys/girls. In your earlier years, you may be totally shy and self-conscious, but you'll lose those qualities in the high-school years. You can be sort of vain or even a bit of a show-off when you get caught up in exciting events in your life, but you usually redeem yourself in some playful way before you lose a friend. Jealousy shows its ugly head sometimes, but generally you aren't affected by it unless your guy/girl tries to provoke it. In the guy/irl department, you prefer the athletic or artistic types. You're in absolute heaven when you find both of those qualities in the same guy/girl. When you're looking for love, a guy/girl who can make you laugh scores points, big time!
You tend to be loyal, dedicated and good hearted. You're one of the most diligent students when you really try, and you tend to make your schoolwork a priority. You also express those same qualities in your love relationship. No one is more faithful and trusting than you. In fact, those tendencies can be a little negative in your romantic life. You may sometimes hang on too long to a guy/girl who doesn't give you the respect and love you deserve. You can be stubborn and a bit of a troublemaker if the mood strikes you but you can usually dig yourself out of that hole just in time to stay out of major trouble. You usually fall for extremes when choosing a love mate - he/she may be a show-off or a teacher's pet. Whatever the type, it helps if he/she is good-looking, too, but that's not a major consideration for you.
Your love attitude is adventurous, charismatic and spontaneous. You're creative and adaptable, and you can come up with the most exciting and sometimes daring things to do. Your quick intelligence and way with words help get you out of the problems that come with being flirtatious and playing hard to get. You need to pay close attention to your personal values because you love to try new and different things and easily go along with the crowd and the consequences can put extra strain on your relationship with a boy/girl. You like guys/girls who have great bodies and good looks, along with exceptional brain and high grades. It helps if they are highly athletic or involved in as many activities as you, otherwise you might get bored! Variety is the key to your love attitude number.
You are warm, loving, devoted and affectionate. Your outgoing, thoughtful nature attracts many girlfriends/boyfriends to you, and usually some of the nicest guys/girls too. Because of your need to care, you can end up in a relationship that requires too much care-taking to make it balanced. Since home and family play important roles in your life, you are unlikely to be attracted to guys/gals who your parents wouldn't like. Sometimes you have a slight jealous streak... but it doesn't last long. Some people with this love attitude number are prone to making harsh judgments of others, especially when others don't share your set of values. You are especially attracted to the good looking, boy/girl-next-door type who is smart as well as a gentle man/woman.
Your love nature is thoughtful, poetic, mystical and mysterious. A few people with love attitude number seven are class clowns, and they usually attract guys/girls who like to be given a hard time. But most of you are the quiet, reserved types who dislike calling attention to yourself. Your type generally attracts guys who feel the same way you do. Your refined, independent and secretive nature is very alluring to certain guys/girls. At times you can also be somewhat fault-finding and a little demanding in your love relationship and with friends. You are mostly attracted to guys/girls who aren't like all the rest; a loner easily attracts you. And, if he/she reads a lot and enjoys learning, he/she is especially perfect for you.
Your love attitude is confident, powerful and exciting. This number usually makes for a very conscientious student, someone who puts schoolwork ahead of a social life. However, you also enjoy being a leader among your classmates and will seek offices or other positions that enable you to use your leadership skills. Because of this, you can be somewhat intimidating to certain guys/girls. You can also be a little too intense, bossy and jealous for your own good. Your love match is definitely someone who is smart, handsome and popular. You like quality over quantity and will usually wait until the guy/girl with the best attributes comes along.
You have a sophisticated attitude that is also generous and considerate. Your responsible, charitable nature may find you attracting guys/girls who want someone to confide in or who makes them feel secure. At a very young age, you developed the type of personality that makes others feel safe and protected. You will carry these qualities into your adult years and, down the road, you'll be a good mom/dad because of them. On the negative side, you can be argumentative and overly emotional, and you usually possess a temper that can make everyone run for cover. You like the kind of guy/girl who is responsible and impeccably dressed and has gorgeous eyes and a great body. Charm, wit and (of course) brilliance could make him the perfect guy/girl for you.
In order to renovate the house, someone in Japan tears open the wall.
Japanese houses normally have a hollow space between the wooden walls. When tearing down the walls, he found that there was a lizard stuck there because a nail from outside hammered into one of its feet. He sees this, feels pity, and at the same time curious, as when he checked the nail, it was nailed 10 years ago when the house was first built.
The lizard has survived in such position for 10 years! In a dark wall partition for 10 years without moving, it is impossible and mind boggling. Then he wondered how this lizard survived for 10 years without moving a single step, since its foot was nailed.
So he stopped his work and observed the lizard, what it has been doing, and how it has been eating. Later, not knowing from where it came, appears another lizard, with food in its mouth.
Ahh! He was stunned and touched deeply. For the lizard that was stuck by nail, another lizard has been feeding it for the past 10 years...
Such love, such a beautiful love! Such love happened even with this tiny creature. What can love do? It can do wonders! Love can do miracles! Imagine? it has been doing that untiringly for 10 long years, without giving up hope on its partner.
Imagine what a small creature can do that a creature blessed with a brilliant mind can't.
I was touched when I heard this story and started wondering about relationships between family members, friends, lovers, brothers, sisters.
As information and communication technology advances, our access to information becomes faster and faster. But the distance between human beings... is it getting closer as well?
I ask you... please never abandon your loved ones.
It has worked for many. If it works for you please pass on the good news. Chiu Nan is not charging for it, so we should make it free for everyone. Your reward is when someone, through your word of mouth, benefits from the regime.
Gallstones may not be everyone's concern. But they should be because we all have them. Moreover, gallstones may lead to cancer.
"Cancer is never the first illness," Chiu Nan points out. "Usually, there are a lot of other problems leading to cancer. In my research in China, I came across some material which say that people with cancer usually have stones.
We all have gallstones. It's a matter of size (big or small) and quantity (many or few). One of the symptoms of gallstones is a feeling of bloatedness after a heavy meal. You feel like you can't digest the food. If it gets more serious, you feel pain in the liver area."
So if you think you have gallstones, Chiu Nan offers the following method to remove them naturally. The treatment is also good for those with a weak liver, because the liver and gallbladder are closely linked.
Regime: For the first five days, take four glasses of apple juice every day. Or eat four or five apples, whichever you prefer. Apple juice softens the gallstones. During the five days, eat normally.
On the sixth day, take no dinner.
At 6 pm, take a teaspoon of Epsom salt (magnesium sulphate) with a glass of warm water.
At 8 pm, repeat the same. Magnesium sulphate opens the gallbladder ducts.
At 10 pm, take half cup olive oil (or sesame oil) with half cup fresh lemon juice. Mix it well and drink it. The oil lubricates the stones to ease their passage.
The next morning, you will find green stones in your stools. "Usually they float." Chiu Nan notes. "You might want to count them. I have had people who passed 40, 50 or up to 100 stones. Very many."
"Even if you don't have any symptoms of gallstones, you still might have some. It's always good to give your gall bladder a clean up every now and then."
The US INS recently released this list of names of Filipinos who changed their names when they became naturalized U.S. Citizens. Who knows... you might encounter them one day.
Gregorio Talahib - George Bush Tomas Cruz - Tom Cruise Macario Maldonado - Mac Donald Remegio Batungbacal- Remington Steel Victoria Malihim- Victoria Secret Bienvenido Jurado - Ben Hur Juanito Lakarin - Johnny Walker Federico Hagibis- Federal Express Esteban Magtaka - Stevie Wonder Jaime Bondoc - James Bond Leon Mangubat - Tiger Woods Eleuterio Ignacio- Electronic Ignition Burgos Bahag-Hari - Burger King Kasimiro Bukaykay - Cashmere Bouquet Maria Calas - Mary Kay Rogelio Dagdagan - Roger Moore Topacio Mamaril - Top Gun Restituto Pruto - Tutti Frutti Samuel Tampipi - Sam Sonite Veneracion De Asis - Venereal Disease Alfonso De Asis - Alzheimer Disease Francisco Portero - Frank Porter Diosdado Durante- Deo Dorant Roberto Controlado- Bert Control Marcelo Controlado - Muscle Control Carpio Llanes - Carpool Lanes Julia Domingo - Holy Sunday Maria Pascua - Mary Christmas Ligaya Anonuevo - Happy New Year
mga bagay-bagay na kasalukuyang kinaiinisan...
george w bush's smirk, mga pangalan na nilalagyan ng "h" (katulad ng jhune, dhanny, jhoey, jhim, jhay, jhet, mayron pa nga akong kilalang piph), tunog ng baril ni agent X44 Tony Falcon, tunog ng suntok ng mga pelikulang pinoy, people who say "at the end of the day" all the time, allergic reactions to seafood, tunog ng stirofoam pag pinisil, tunog ng kinaskas na kuko sa blackboard, war, alikabok, the term "weapons of mass destruction", sales people who always say "absolutely", people who don't take a bath everyday, anghit, people who don't change their shirts everyday, tropical heat, people with anghit who don't take a bath and don't change their shirts everyday at kasabay mong maglakad in the tropical heat, cnn's jim clancey's reporting, monday afternoons, NAIA, the term "liberating the iraqi people", jeepney fumes, standing on a bus going home, cruise missles, pelikulang bumbay, stale coffee, tomahawk missles, january 2, ping lacson, tessie aquino ureta, pimples, powdered orange juice, elevator music, kenny-g's music, elevator playing kenny-g's music, donald rumsfeld's squint, funeral parlors, hospitals, hospital morgues, cold showers, nagtataeng ballpen, nagtataeng ballpen na nakalagay sa bulsa ng puting polo shirt, lapis na bale, disco music, rap music, loud bar music, loud rap music played in a bar, non-functioning remote control, scientific calculators that are not casio, automatic watches that stop in the middle of the night, smelly farts that are not mine, come to think of it - any kind of fart that did not come from my asshole, "bawal umihi dito" signs (ang mahole, bogbog), sunglasses na tabingi pag sinuot mo, yellow-orange shirts, pink pants for men, pantalon na bitin, lalaki na naka yellow-orange shirt na may ternong pink pants na bitin, lawlaw na shorts, tsinelas na luma, loud preachers inside a bus (PRAISE THE GOD!), el shaddai, amerikana ni brother mike, brother mike, good friday, american war propaganda, train stations in india, being thirsty, LBM, smelly hair, ugly american speeches, tinapay na may amag, mainit na coke, soft boiled egg na sobrang soft, CNN reporters na pumipikit-pikit pag nagrereport, sign pen na walang tinta, CD na tumatalon, abstract painting na binebenta sa bangketa sa quiapo, palenkeng maputik, cell phones ringing inside theatres, sappy love song ring tones, sappy love song ringtones ringing inside theatres, loud text message ringtones, mcdo hamburgers na may chii sauce, taxes, ringing phones at 2 o clock in the morning, traffic jams, fast changing traffic lights, war councils, tapilok, somebody wearing turtle neck sweaters in manila, somebody wearing leather jackets in manila, somebody wearing leather jackets over tutleneck sweaters in manila, the term "decisive force", censorship, self righteous people, self righteous censors, names i can't pronounce, people calling me "david", riding in a car that's been left baking in an open parking lot in manila at 12 o clock noon, pentel pen na malapit nang maubusan ng tinta, the disco song entitled "zodiac", low batt cellphone right when you need it, underpowered cars, stars on 45 music, stars on 45 music being played inside buses, stars on 45 being played inside a bus when a preacher suddenly shouts "PRAISE THE LORD" while you are a few seconds from finally taking a nap, funeral wreathes, lumang pera, kahit anong pelikula ni steven segal (except yung kasama niya si idol kong tommy lee jones), ang mukha ni prime minister john howard ng australia, "operation iraqi freedom"...
...AND, the most kinaiinisang bagay-bagay as of late: the term "shock and awe"